All these “cuddle and play video games” date ideas are weak. We’re playing mario kart double dash, cuddling is a distraction. Im here to win
My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
Shopping for clothes when you have big boobs is normally really annoying esp when you like drapey things or want something that cinches at the waist cause you always get stuff like this
when the hell did this get over a thousand notes
Christ this speaks to me on an emotional level
Okay, but now we need a few pictures of what having small boobs is like in department stores.
so my friend and i were home alone and naturally we ordered a pizza
we had a simple request
so when the doorbell rang we were super excited but our delivery person was this really confused old guy
he was like, “i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the heck a TARDIS is, so i drew the closest thing i could think of”
he drew us a tortoise
god bless this man
i gave him a twenty and told him to keep the change
a little girl in the grocery store just asked me if i was a princess because my dress was pretty and i said everyone’s a princess and she pointed to her dad and asked if he was a princess too and her dad said yep its true im a princess and she looked so happy idk it was adorable
do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man